my grandpa

My grandpa is not doing good, and he just gave me my first complement in a long time and told me he does not think he will be around much longer, and I don't think he will last much longer. I'm going to miss him so much I'm crying right now this is by far the hardest thing I have ever gone threw. good night 

March was a waist

It's been a while but here I am with a new determination to make my life better! I am afraid to meet new people, and I think it's because I am afraid of being rejected because I am fat. I do not enjoy rap so that limits my night time hangouts spots.... Anyway I am getting off topic, Tonight I went out with a girl I had a crush on for about two years. We went and watched 21 jump street. ( it was a perfect movie ) then we went in got a drink and had a nice conversation. It is confirmed that My cousin John Pinney is gay second. I realized that I do not want to hang out with her just to sleep with her, I like to just talk to her. And I really don't want to ruin our friendship!  ( so if you ever read this Angela, I am totally cool just being your friend but I doubt anyone will ever read this lol ) I don't think in the long run we would work out she is super active like doing something every night and I like to hang back and chill. Any way She is my musical soul mate for the most part witch is cool so I hope we can start to go see some shows together. Oh we did jello shots tonight! first time ever doing one and I must say yummy!
Back to my update I have started working at fresh and easy and my workouts and diet have been suffering, but I think I got myself back on the ball tonight! after the date I went to my gym I jogged for 30 min's and then I hit the free weights, (I feel amazing right now) I Need to keep this energy and euphoria in my memory because I feel like I could take on the world! the only thing that sucks is my wrist is hurting :(. But I bought a wrist band to help with that and I have been lifting more weight than normal.  60lbs on each dumb bell and I plan to be at 65lbs soon! I want to drop at least 20lbs in a month because.....
Modest Mouse is playing next month about 2.30 hours away and I will go see them! I must go see them! I WILL GO SEE THEM BY MYSELF IF I MUST!
My grandpa is on borrowed time, he has to get dialysis 3 times a week for the rest of his life. or the doc gave him 2 weeks to live :( this has effected me very strange. I am almost numb about it and really empty inside.    
I rescued a blood python on craigslist last week, I think it is a male, and it is very Docile I love it (I just took it out of its enclosure and it hissed at me for the first time<3) last month I also got a Boa constrictor she is very sweet! And I got my dream Tarantula a C.marshalli! it wont eat for me tho...
Morning Teleportation! I love this band they are upbeat and a lot like modest mouse <3 they make me want to play my bass again!
there is another girl that i want to talk about but.....It is almost 3am and I have a big day......So later :-P