Tuesday, April 24, 2012
my grandpa
My grandpa is not doing good, and he just gave me my first complement in a long time and told me he does not think he will be around much longer, and I don't think he will last much longer. I'm going to miss him so much I'm crying right now this is by far the hardest thing I have ever gone threw. good night
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
March was a waist
It's been a while but here I am with a new determination to make my life better! I am afraid to meet new people, and I think it's because I am afraid of being rejected because I am fat. I do not enjoy rap so that limits my night time hangouts spots.... Anyway I am getting off topic, Tonight I went out with a girl I had a crush on for about two years. We went and watched 21 jump street. ( it was a perfect movie ) then we went in got a drink and had a nice conversation. It is confirmed that My cousin John Pinney is gay second. I realized that I do not want to hang out with her just to sleep with her, I like to just talk to her. And I really don't want to ruin our friendship! ( so if you ever read this Angela, I am totally cool just being your friend but I doubt anyone will ever read this lol ) I don't think in the long run we would work out she is super active like doing something every night and I like to hang back and chill. Any way She is my musical soul mate for the most part witch is cool so I hope we can start to go see some shows together. Oh we did jello shots tonight! first time ever doing one and I must say yummy!
Back to my update I have started working at fresh and easy and my workouts and diet have been suffering, but I think I got myself back on the ball tonight! after the date I went to my gym I jogged for 30 min's and then I hit the free weights, (I feel amazing right now) I Need to keep this energy and euphoria in my memory because I feel like I could take on the world! the only thing that sucks is my wrist is hurting :(. But I bought a wrist band to help with that and I have been lifting more weight than normal. 60lbs on each dumb bell and I plan to be at 65lbs soon! I want to drop at least 20lbs in a month because.....
Modest Mouse is playing next month about 2.30 hours away and I will go see them! I must go see them! I WILL GO SEE THEM BY MYSELF IF I MUST!
My grandpa is on borrowed time, he has to get dialysis 3 times a week for the rest of his life. or the doc gave him 2 weeks to live :( this has effected me very strange. I am almost numb about it and really empty inside.
I rescued a blood python on craigslist last week, I think it is a male, and it is very Docile I love it (I just took it out of its enclosure and it hissed at me for the first time<3) last month I also got a Boa constrictor she is very sweet! And I got my dream Tarantula a C.marshalli! it wont eat for me tho...
Morning Teleportation! I love this band they are upbeat and a lot like modest mouse <3 they make me want to play my bass again!
there is another girl that i want to talk about but.....It is almost 3am and I have a big day......So later :-P
Back to my update I have started working at fresh and easy and my workouts and diet have been suffering, but I think I got myself back on the ball tonight! after the date I went to my gym I jogged for 30 min's and then I hit the free weights, (I feel amazing right now) I Need to keep this energy and euphoria in my memory because I feel like I could take on the world! the only thing that sucks is my wrist is hurting :(. But I bought a wrist band to help with that and I have been lifting more weight than normal. 60lbs on each dumb bell and I plan to be at 65lbs soon! I want to drop at least 20lbs in a month because.....
Modest Mouse is playing next month about 2.30 hours away and I will go see them! I must go see them! I WILL GO SEE THEM BY MYSELF IF I MUST!
My grandpa is on borrowed time, he has to get dialysis 3 times a week for the rest of his life. or the doc gave him 2 weeks to live :( this has effected me very strange. I am almost numb about it and really empty inside.
I rescued a blood python on craigslist last week, I think it is a male, and it is very Docile I love it (I just took it out of its enclosure and it hissed at me for the first time<3) last month I also got a Boa constrictor she is very sweet! And I got my dream Tarantula a C.marshalli! it wont eat for me tho...
Morning Teleportation! I love this band they are upbeat and a lot like modest mouse <3 they make me want to play my bass again!
there is another girl that i want to talk about but.....It is almost 3am and I have a big day......So later :-P
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Raw Nose 2-28-12
So I caught a cold I believe last Wednesday and it is kicking my but, Today I tried to run 4 miles but I stopped after 3 and when I went to the free weights I could only complete two sets of ten. I missed four workouts last week because of this cold.
I started my new job at Fresh and easy! It is so far really chill, I have been doing my own thing I am playing the music junkie angle and I have already gotten two followers. everyone is real nice and I think everyone wants to help this store succeed! the only thing that sucks is I feel like shit while training.
Uncle Dave came up from Ventura, He is taking care of his business and I;m not sure how long he will be in town but he seems annoyed, kinda sad I don't think I will see him again after this visit I'm not sure how much longer he will live with the lung cancer. This makes me depressed......
I am almost completely out of money and I don't not think I will make enough money at this job to get ahead... I do not think I will be able to add any new animals to my collection for a while so that slows down my breeding plans.
Who watches the walking dead! Wow this last episode was GOOD! BEST ONE YET! and the ending song well the ending song is the song of the day!
Wye Oak - Civilian
This song is so motivating, spiritual, magic, dark, brooding, orgasmic, epic, in terms of my short music career So Good! I love it so much I have had it on repeat for two days! She had a little Issac Brock cord thing going, the band is a little two peace thing.
I started my new job at Fresh and easy! It is so far really chill, I have been doing my own thing I am playing the music junkie angle and I have already gotten two followers. everyone is real nice and I think everyone wants to help this store succeed! the only thing that sucks is I feel like shit while training.
Uncle Dave came up from Ventura, He is taking care of his business and I;m not sure how long he will be in town but he seems annoyed, kinda sad I don't think I will see him again after this visit I'm not sure how much longer he will live with the lung cancer. This makes me depressed......
I am almost completely out of money and I don't not think I will make enough money at this job to get ahead... I do not think I will be able to add any new animals to my collection for a while so that slows down my breeding plans.
Who watches the walking dead! Wow this last episode was GOOD! BEST ONE YET! and the ending song well the ending song is the song of the day!
Wye Oak - Civilian
This song is so motivating, spiritual, magic, dark, brooding, orgasmic, epic, in terms of my short music career So Good! I love it so much I have had it on repeat for two days! She had a little Issac Brock cord thing going, the band is a little two peace thing.
Friday, February 24, 2012
2-24-12
Today was a interesting day I took Cinni my first Ball python to the park, he got to crawl around in grass for the first time. It was great seeing him breath fresh air, shimmer in the sunlight, and enjoy the great out doors. It was a really cool experience to I set him down and walked away, he would raise his head, flick his tongue, and slither to me! I did this a few time and had the same outcome every time! He is like my little puppy, I love this snake! I made a video of it :D
After the park he got under my seat in my truck, and It took me about a hour to get him out. I found a $20 bill while I trying to get him out. I then went to the gym ran my mile, then walked/jogged for the next 20 mins. On my run it was hard and my nose really ran, so I think I'm getting a cold or have allergies. I took a bunch of vitamin-C emergen-C, so I hope I can beet the cold. My nose is a little congested still.
The song of the day is White lies, Yellow Teeth by Modest Mouse
Monday, February 20, 2012
2-20-12 It's been awhile
Okay things got a little dark for me for a while, I quite the rock talkers podcast, and started to loose hope about the future. I have a hallow feeling and it has really got a grasp on me, I feel like I have no friends, and I am all alone. Empty I feel empty....
So lets start things off with a bit of good news. today I ran 4 miles non stop! that is the longest I have ever run WooHoo! Last Night I ran a mile in 9:11 that is the fastest I have ever ran a mile, And I am working out with 50lb dumbbells I can really see a improvement in my body and I feel great!
On Saturday I start a new job! it has almost been a year seance I have worked and money was starting to get scarce.
I got a new snake!
Now why did I quite the podcast~ It stopped being fun, I wanted to teach people about cool bands and review cool new albums and one of our host (Chris) refused to listen to any of the albums, he was far to vulgar for me (he liked to talk about other guys sucking on other guys way to much, I really question his sexuality lol) I felt bad because Kerrick paid for everything on the show he must have spent 200-300. And I feel like we all wasted our time. So I have no bad feelings towards K-rock and I hope to work with him again, But Chris on the other hand, lets just say I don't ever want to talk to that guy again.
In the Reptile world a of states are trying to stop people from owning snakes, and reptiles in general. Its is a scary thing because I want to breed snakes as a hobby and maybe one day for a living. The Burmese Python is now illegal to move from state to state and that is just stupid! How is me owning a Burm and moving from Cali to W.v. or A.r. going to help the problem in the everglades?( that is the snake that people are saying is a problem in south Florida)
So that made me question that path in my future and really made me sad.
But I went out and with my tax return I got myself a new ball python, She is a Mojave morph and just beautiful! I will post a pic of her :)
there is a really great reptile community that is about 2 hours away that I plan to start going to there meetings and learning all I can maybe I might meet a cool chick there!
On Saturday I will be starting a job at a new grocery store called Fresh and Easy, I am almost completely out of money so I am really excited to start working, I also am looking forward to just meeting some new people and maybe making some new friends! I plan to put myself out there and try to have a good time!
My friend convinced me to join a online dating site, and I have gone out on a few dates its kinda nice when girls think go out of the way to contact me, It has helped me build up a little confidence again! So far no girls that I'm into tho. And there is a girl that I had a big crush on that has given me her number and we are supposed to go hiking in a few weeks! She is way out of my league tho :( but at least it's a start!
I have decided that California is not for me, It is too expensive to live here, I really think it will be too hard to finish college out here and try and get in shape, work and have my own place. I am ashamed that I live with my grandparents, I plan to move out in a few months I will ether move out to Wv or Ar not 100% sure yet. But I know I need to leave this house my grandparents only bring me down, I do not think that I can care for them any longer, My grandma will not stop talking about food lol (sucks when you are trying to diet) and my grandpa has become a bitter old man a shadow of the man he used to be. ( he try's every chance he gets to start a fight with me, I refuse to argue with him and that seams to make him more argumentative. :( Anyway I will start to save up for the move and keep weighing my options. It is good to have options :)
Song of the day Remembrance by Balmorhea
Its is a beautiful peace that really is appropriate, for my mood after writing this blog, I really feel bummed out now lol
So lets start things off with a bit of good news. today I ran 4 miles non stop! that is the longest I have ever run WooHoo! Last Night I ran a mile in 9:11 that is the fastest I have ever ran a mile, And I am working out with 50lb dumbbells I can really see a improvement in my body and I feel great!
On Saturday I start a new job! it has almost been a year seance I have worked and money was starting to get scarce.
I got a new snake!
Now why did I quite the podcast~ It stopped being fun, I wanted to teach people about cool bands and review cool new albums and one of our host (Chris) refused to listen to any of the albums, he was far to vulgar for me (he liked to talk about other guys sucking on other guys way to much, I really question his sexuality lol) I felt bad because Kerrick paid for everything on the show he must have spent 200-300. And I feel like we all wasted our time. So I have no bad feelings towards K-rock and I hope to work with him again, But Chris on the other hand, lets just say I don't ever want to talk to that guy again.
In the Reptile world a of states are trying to stop people from owning snakes, and reptiles in general. Its is a scary thing because I want to breed snakes as a hobby and maybe one day for a living. The Burmese Python is now illegal to move from state to state and that is just stupid! How is me owning a Burm and moving from Cali to W.v. or A.r. going to help the problem in the everglades?( that is the snake that people are saying is a problem in south Florida)
So that made me question that path in my future and really made me sad.
But I went out and with my tax return I got myself a new ball python, She is a Mojave morph and just beautiful! I will post a pic of her :)
there is a really great reptile community that is about 2 hours away that I plan to start going to there meetings and learning all I can maybe I might meet a cool chick there!
On Saturday I will be starting a job at a new grocery store called Fresh and Easy, I am almost completely out of money so I am really excited to start working, I also am looking forward to just meeting some new people and maybe making some new friends! I plan to put myself out there and try to have a good time!
My friend convinced me to join a online dating site, and I have gone out on a few dates its kinda nice when girls think go out of the way to contact me, It has helped me build up a little confidence again! So far no girls that I'm into tho. And there is a girl that I had a big crush on that has given me her number and we are supposed to go hiking in a few weeks! She is way out of my league tho :( but at least it's a start!
I have decided that California is not for me, It is too expensive to live here, I really think it will be too hard to finish college out here and try and get in shape, work and have my own place. I am ashamed that I live with my grandparents, I plan to move out in a few months I will ether move out to Wv or Ar not 100% sure yet. But I know I need to leave this house my grandparents only bring me down, I do not think that I can care for them any longer, My grandma will not stop talking about food lol (sucks when you are trying to diet) and my grandpa has become a bitter old man a shadow of the man he used to be. ( he try's every chance he gets to start a fight with me, I refuse to argue with him and that seams to make him more argumentative. :( Anyway I will start to save up for the move and keep weighing my options. It is good to have options :)
Song of the day Remembrance by Balmorhea
Its is a beautiful peace that really is appropriate, for my mood after writing this blog, I really feel bummed out now lol
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